not shadow but
reflection
february rain from
tanguy’s sky until the streets
are all dull grey mirrors
if i keep my distance
i could be anyone
if i get in my car and drive
i could call it escape
could call it running away
which is sometimes an act of
cowardice and sometimes
an act of survival
and i sit in this room of
empty chairs instead
with my thoughts
and my bitter resentments
i believe in gorky at the age of 43
in rothko at the age of 66
but not in my father
not at any age and not in any
of the bars i spent my childhood in
i remember the threats
and all of the dire predictions
i remember fifteen years
spent perfecting the
art of silence
what a sad fucking
victory it’s become
