Post Break-up Souvenir Shopping, Naples
No to the limoncello, liquid sunshine in hand-painted glass bottles.
No to the porcelain-handled pizza cutters poised to slice a pie.
Nope to the floral-print tablecloth/napkin sets, nope to Deruta pottery blue-rimmed with lemons.
No to the prayer candles, neither Madonna and Child nor Madonna Ciccone.
No to the mother-of-pearl music boxes tinkling That’s Amore.
No to a Sexy Priests 12-month calendar— but Father August is devilishly hot!
Nope to Quentin Tarantino prayer candles— enough already.
No to Mount Vesuvius snow globes, though the ashes are quite fitting.
But to the wicker baskets brimming with little clay heads— I say Yes!
and pay three euros for the one that looks like yours.
Dreaming of the Jersey Shore
The Muffin Man woke at 4 a.m., turned on
the lights at Drury Lane. He gathered ingredients: lemons,
flour, eggs, sugar, poppy seeds, baking powder, milk, butter, salt.
It was Tuesday, a lemon-poppy seed bake.
Everyone knew The Muffin Man. Or thought they did.
In the solitude of pre-dawn, he was not above smoking a cigarette
while he stirred, flicking an ash or two into the batter.
And it wasn’t even Ash Wednesday. People didn’t know him,
only that Thursday was cherry chocolate, Friday was blueberry crumble.
Muffins weren’t the only thing crumbling.
For years now, The Muffin Man dreamed of a different life—
one where he braised osso buco at a seaside café.
Where he worked side by side with a soulmate wife
while the kids played underfoot, and his friends— those guys
he should have stayed tight with since high school—
came around on Saturday nights for a plate of oysters
and a bottle of pinot gris. Things hadn’t turned out the way he’d hoped.
He took another drag on the cigarette, greased the muffin tins.
“After the morning rush,” he said aloud to no one but himself,
“I’m going to post my profile on one of those dating sites— Binge,
or Yes, Chef, or maybe FreshCatch.com.” But The Muffin Man knew
he was all flour dust, no yeast.
He’d spend another afternoon in the safe embrace
of Zillow: commercial zone, large oven, ocean view.
Ann Weil
Ann Weil is the author of Lifecycle of a Beautiful Woman (Yellow Arrow Publishing, 2023) and Blue Dog Road Trip (Gnashing Teeth Publishing, October 2024). Her poetry appears or is forthcoming in Pedestal Magazine, RHINO, Chestnut Review, DMQ Review, Maudlin House, 3Elements Review, and elsewhere. Her poem, “Moon Child,” was nominated for a Pushcart Prize by Burningword Literary Journal and selected for inclusion in the 2024 Edition of Best New Poets. She earned her doctorate at the University of Michigan and lives with her husband and soul-dog in Ann Arbor, MI, and Key West, FL.
