Bad Memories of the Good Old Days

April 2021 | Best of Net nominee, poetry

The darkest hour is just before

the middle of the night.

Mishka Shubaly, “Destructible”

 

I climbed the infinite staircase

that leads nowhere;

it took me almost a decade,

a fractured ankle,

a fractured rib,

a broken tooth,

my peace of mind,

and half of my soul.

 

I played the eleven games,

those were happier days.

But I remember the rejection,

the taste of blood in my mouth,

the humiliation,

a pitch-black bottomless pit

of youth and sadness.

 

I know how it feels to be depressed

at your aunt’s birthday party,

to think about death at the dive bar,

I know the strange looks you get

when you make jokes about misery,

I know how it feels

to spend the entire weekend

under a fortress of shadows and blankets.

Endless Sundays,

unnerving Mondays,

Advil and beer for breakfast.

I know.

I know.

There, there.

 

Black and white movies,

empty bottles of cheap white wine,

broken glass on the carpet,

suicidal fantasies at the supermarket,

tears at the airport,

cold sweat at the parking lot,

hot coffee and antidepressants,

shattered dreams and broken hearts.

That’s all that’s left:

Bad memories of the good old days.

 

Juan David Cruz-Duarte

Juan David Cruz-Duarte was born in Bogotá, Colombia. He lived in South Carolina for 10 years. In 2018 he earned a doctorate degree in Comparative Literature from the University of South Carolina. His work has been published in Five:2:One, Fall Lines, the Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, Jasper Magazine, Blue Collar Review, Burningword, Escarabeo, Máquina Combinatoria, and elsewhere. He is the author of Dream a little dream of me: Cuentos siniestros (2011), La noche del fin del mundo (2012), and Léase después de mi muerte (Poemas 2005-2017) (2018). He lives in Bogotá.

John J. Zywar

April 2021 | visual art

Frost 043

 

John J. Zywar

John J. Zywar is a retiree in Central Massachusetts who enjoys pursuing his interests in photography, cooking, family history research, prose and poetry. His interest in photography grew out of a 4H program in photography which included darkroom experience when he was in high school. His photographic art interests run from macro photography of frost to landscapes, all intended to spark a reaction from the observer. Art is a presentation to the senses to elicit an emotional response. Transforming photographs to artistic images through digital means is a current area of exploration. He has taken a number of workshops with professional nature photographer Harry Collins. His photos last appeared in a show at the Logansport Art Association (Indiana) with art by his wife (watercolors), and two daughters (ceramics and metal).

 

Eminence

April 2021 | poetry

The land in Nevada seems barren

like evil witch skin until you get

a better view. Start with a

 

close-up of crater valley, five shades

of brown, the ochre lip of serious

plummage, cracked ridge,

 

circular but not perfectly so, its irregular

features staring up at feathery wisps

of malnourished clouds.

 

Something as forceful as god rearranged

what once was, what once lay dormant,

dehydrated rivers, quivering

 

with geologic memories, nothingness pre-

served, dead sea, land succession bolted,

flat-lined except for mountain

 

ridges, curved, curling up toward bleak sky.

Ancient birds, vectors of pestilence, rise

from pink ash beds, illuminating

 

the very place I stand. I reach out, I reach

up, grasping at history’s breath, pulling it

in on top of me, seeking resurrection

 

of soul, spirit, body; acknowledging

the eminent passing of all that I am

into the hot mouth of time.

 

John Dorroh

Whether John Dorroh taught any secondary science is still being discussed. He did manage, however, to show up at 6:45 every morning with at least three lesson plans and a thermos of robust Colombian. His poetry has appeared in about 80-85 journals, including Dime Show Review, North Dakota Quarterly, Os Pressan, Feral, Selcouth Station, and Red Dirt Forum/Press. He also writes short fiction and the occasional rant.

Jim Ross

April 2021 | visual art

Remembering the Third Man

Preparing for the Dance

Jim Ross

Jim Ross jumped into creative pursuits in 2015 after leaving a rewarding career in public health research. With a graduate degree from Howard University, since retiring he’s published nonfiction, poetry, and photography in nearly 150 journals and anthologies on four continents. Publications include 580 Split, Bombay Gin, Columbia Journal, Ilanot Review, Lunch Ticket, The Atlantic, The Manchester Review, and Typehouse, with Hippocampus forthcoming. Recent photo essays include Barren, Kestrel, Litro, New World Writing, So It Goes, and Wordpeace. A nonfiction piece led to a role in a documentary limited series. Jim and his wife—parents of two health professionals on the front line and grandparents of five preschoolers—split their time between city and mountains.

Jean Wolff

April 2021 | visual art

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Jean Wolff

Jean Wolff has had group and solo exhibits in various galleries in New York City and internationally. In addition, she has published 108 works in 69 issues of 47 different magazines. Born in Detroit, Michigan, she studied fine arts at the Center for Creative Studies in Detroit and at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, receiving a BFA in studio arts. She then attended Hunter College, CUNY in New York, graduating with an MFA in painting and printmaking. She is now part of the artistic community of Westbeth in Manhattan.