Resurrection

die

just once

while you are still breathing

here

this moment

where your skin is submerged

and there is nothing to be

owned

bought

lost

or gained

now

omnipotence

holding highest joy

and utter despair

one

without preference

stop

everything and

notice the flow of your life

continues without

pushing and pulling

perhaps in spite of it

die

and wake

to taste your exquisite life

 

Matthew Mumber

Matthew Mumber MD is a practicing, board certified radiation oncologist with the Harbin Clinic in Rome, Georgia. He received his undergraduate and medical degrees from the University of Virginia and completed his radiation oncology residency at the Bowman Gray School of Medicine. He graduated from the 2002 Associate Fellowship Program in Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona and is a graduate of the inaugural class of the Living School for Action and Contemplation through the Rohr Institute. Matt founded Cancer Navigators Inc. in 2002, a 501c3 corporation which provides nurse, education and service navigation for those touched by cancer. He continues to facilitate residential retreats and groups for cancer patients and physicians. Matt took poetry writing classes under Debra Nystrom while at UVA and has continued to write, and just recently has begun to seek publication of his poems. He has published two health and wellness books.

Aurora

The last night I slept soundly was the night before my wheezing father announced the succession.  He named me – his daughter – as his heir.  He hoped aloud that my brother would advise me faithfully.  The pulsing vein in Damian’s forehead suggested otherwise.  With one word my father had severed our fraternal connection more effectually than any witch’s curse.

I sit up in bed watching the candle-gleam on the door handle, making certain it doesn’t move.  Four guards stand watch outside.  The points and hilts of their too-long swords scrape the stone of the narrow corridor.  My clock chimes three.  Four.  Five.  I doze…and rise…and drift. 

Father dies.  My soul screams; my desiccated eyes are tearless.

I order a spinning wheel brought to my room; and the motion of my hands allows me to stay awake.  I watch the gleam.  A week goes by thus, or a year.

“You don’t deserve to be Queen,” says Damian.

Phantasmagoric creatures haunt my darkness – no beneficent elves, these.  Sinister witches leap from the fireplace’s shadows; a dragon bars my escape. 

At my coronation banquet, my taster grows purple – and still.  Damian is strangely unruffled. 

The replacement is the dead boy’s sister.  Her lip trembles; she hugs me.  The ladies-in-waiting hiss; I hush them, and stroke her mouse-colored hair.  Her breath is warm against my chest.

Something boils within me.

I address my captain of the guard: “Teach me to fight.”

He laughs – then remembers his place.  “Your highness –”

“That was not a request,” I intone.  “Captain.”

My sword arm droops; I feint altogether faintly; I forget his corrections after mere moments.  He peers into my face.  “Forgive me, your highness…you look exhausted.”

“Again.  Let’s try it again.”

My captain doubles the guard and arms them with knives: “You’ll be safe.”  The blue has fled my eyes and they blaze like fire.  The clock strikes twelve, still I thrust and parry…

One night, outside my door – shouts, shrieking steel, unholy screams of men – “Don’t open the d–” roars the captain, before his words are cut sickeningly short.

The gleam pauses, dances, vanishes: In its place stands Damian.  He has a knife in his hand and a sword at his waist.  He hurls his knife – I drop – I draw my own sword from beneath my mattress.  His blade clangs against it before I can draw breath.  There is murder in Damian’s heart, and there are no good fairies coming to my aid…

I stumble into the spinning wheel, steadying myself against it even as it collapses…I prick my finger on something but manage to hold on…

…his sword kisses my neck.  “Any last words?”

The man who used to be my brother has bulging blue eyes –

“Go to hell!” I cry, plunging the broken spindle into his belly.  He staggers, falls, curses me, even as his blood pools. 

I keep silent watch while he dies.

I send my taster back home to her mama.

I feel I could sleep for a hundred years.

 

Linda McMullen

Linda McMullen is a wife, mother, and Foreign Service Officer who has previously served at U.S. embassies in Africa and Asia. She calls Wisconsin home, and currently lives outside Washington, D.C.

Old Whitworth

Old Whitworth, a seventy-year-old dentist who should have retired a decade ago, endured in the practiced removal of ailing choppers. Yet his fees were a pittance in post-war years, offering irresistible rates – if you weren’t too particular about the origin of his dubious credentials.

Whitworth, white-haired, save for rounded bald spot, reddened by anger from a patient who didn’t pay! Since then, everyone paid before they graced his torturing chair?

“Two shillings for an extraction.” He would say, in a tone that defied his ethical teachings, “but only one shilling and sixpence … without anesthetic?” Some took the cheaper route, surviving to warn others of the ordeal, amongst sympathetic pub ears.

Whitworth, tamer of pain, with rusted pliers on calcium bite. He heaves upon uncared wisdom teeth, their term welcoming a sorry end. Grip rigid, clamp bending soft gums, as cursing yelps pierce the cold damp room. A single light bulb the only heat, except patient’s hot-bloodied anxiety. He yanks back and forth, the grip betraying his years, as another fractured precipice splinters from contaminated crags of white and brown. Decay is another battle.

A rinsed reprieve. Calming moments, before the onslaught continues. Whitworth composed, displaying his treasury of gold fillings to the bearer of pain. Vice-gripped, he scrapes a craggy wisdom tooth, and surreptitiously dabs medicinal swabs to spare agony. Not many taste the brandy – for one and six.

Whitworth lunges, pliers re-clamped. To and fro, up and down, aligning with victim’s high-pitch shrieks! Nerve tissues severed, gum walls oozing, blood spilling, victim coughing, and Whitworth must withdraw to permit another rinse. Pity, when he was close to seizing his volatile prey.

“It’s all in the wrist,” he explains to numb, self-invited guest, as they all are. Whitworth has no favorites, only deeds for payment.

The victim slouches deeper into the flattened leather chair, eying pliers that glisten from his own slime and spit. Crack …! Blood gushes, and Whitworth is quick to sense the moment, yanking to and fro, back and forth. Until finally, he holds the prize to relief-strewn eyes.

A wisdom tooth taken, no more to trouble, torment or chew, by old Whitworth.

 

 

John Barrett    

Educated in England, John is an immigrant to Canada. John has non-fiction articles, travel articles, fiction and poetry published in several local newspapers and anthologies. His short fiction has appeared in the Poetry Institute of Canada, Polar Expressions and Sentinel.

Lowell Jaeger, Featured Author

Sugar-White Beaches

Such a never-ending winter, these months

of snow and ice and gloom.  We’ve lost

long hours again today, pushing back

last night’s leaden blanket of wet white,

mounding piles shoulder-high, towering

till they avalanche as if to mock our labors.

The wind whips our cheekbones red

and wet and raw, my wife and I,

our shovels lufting slush, lungs puffing

huffs and grunts . . . when, within a waking dream,

she says, That sugar-white beach

in Isla Mujeres, remember? I nod,

a touch of warmth, a blush, floods over me,

a smile.  Side-by-side we replay these memories,

wordlessly, relishing not just the mind’s rescue

but something bone-deep having bubbled up

like steaming waters from the earth’s core.

And I remember, as a kid, that same sensation,

a resurrection out of the depths of near hopelessness,

our schoolyard in late March beginning to thaw.

One brown patch of lawn opened where snows had receded,

and we gathered there all recess, huddled in awe.

 

The Bubbles

Jet-lagged, we snugged the covers over our ears

to muffle las campanas de la catedral, tolling.

Stepped into the midday sun, blinded by how far

the day had progressed without us.  Hungry

enough to settle for a vendor’s cart menu,

plastic tables and worn umbrellas, across from the plaza

where someone had switched on

fountains of spray hissing skyward and falling,

sizzling on the hot streets like rain.

Not a fountain, really, but jets

or nozzles embedded in the cobbles and brickwork,

firing at random for the simple screams

of barefoot niňos dashing to soak

their camisetas y pantelones for the joy of what

dazzle might rise on a Sunday afternoon.

And did I mention the children blowing bubbles?

Not blowing them, really, but throwing them

from homemade coat-hanger wands dipped

in pails of sudsy dish soap.  Huge soap balloons

taking shape as the children twirled and laughed.

Families cheering the bubbles as each rose toward the sun,

undulating liquid rainbows.  Kaleidoscopic rainbows!

As my wife and I held hands across the table,

glad to be in love amidst the bustle,

this world’s wondrous and baffling extravagance,

thousands of miles from home.

Three Cathedrals

Our strategy for this day: don’t waste it

roaming the cobbles in the aimless manner

we’d diddled away the hours yesterday —

my customary druthers when accustoming myself

to a foreign locale.  I like to simply set out walking,

let each new intersection dictate which way to go.

But this day at breakfast, a sunlit street-side café,

you opened the guidebook and made plans.  We’d locate

the burial site of the young peasant, a revolutionary.  The one

who gave his life — or so the story alleges —

not for his flag, but for the welfare of his wife and children.

You passed the map across the table, without speaking,

and pointed to our destination, tapping gently with one finger

on the exact coordinates of your chosen goal.

All morning we searched street names, asking directions,

straining to comprehend a few words of a language

not our own, charging this way and that,

until past noon we stopped for a glass of wine,

conceding we were lost.  Something between us,

lost.  I couldn’t guess what it was.  Except that our son

and daughters were grown and gone.  And when we rose

to go again, we had nowhere particular in mind, meandering

across the plaza, stepping recklessly through traffic,

lured by cathedral doors thrown wide.

In the darkness inside, I studied the carved-wood altar.

Someone might have mistaken my mumbling as a prayer.

You lit a votive and set it reverently beside dozens

of strangers’ wishes flaming.  Three cathedrals

we explored that afternoon — their spires rising on the skyline,

easy to find.  This day I now recall in its vaulted ceilings.

And a sadness in you, hushed at depths I’d scarcely divined.

You, slipping pesos into the slotted donation box.  You,

igniting brightness.  I’d give my life for you

and the children, I thought.  You, your face aglow

amidst a thousand flickering shadows.

I’d never loved you more.

We’d Planned

to pull the blinds,

uncork champagne,

jitterbug naked

— your mother and I —

inside the empty nest.

You slammed the hatch

on your Subaru, its bursting load

of fantasies and mysteries boxed,

pillowcases stuffed

with plush bears.

Smiled, waved, honked,

and sped away.  Our last,

at last

college-bound.

We stood at the window

— your mother and I —

and breathed silence.

She simmered a Mexican stew

later that afternoon, which

side-by-side across from your place

at the table, we sipped

spoon by spoon.

Lowell Jaeger

Lowell Jaeger (Montana Poet Laureate 2017-2019) is founding editor of Many Voices Press, author of seven collections of poems, recipient of fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Montana Arts Council, and winner of the Grolier Poetry Peace Prize. Most recently Jaeger was awarded the Montana Governor’s Humanities Award for his work in promoting thoughtful civic discourse.

The Interview

Tell us about your scar. Does it hurt?

Only when I smile.

I suppose it has a story?

Yes, but not a very interesting one. I have another.

Another scar?

No. Another story. Would you like to hear it?

Please. Our readers would be most interested.

I was nine. There had been an accident.

An accident? Nothing serious, I hope?

A garbage truck had overturned on Bruckner Boulevard, and they were re-routing the traffic through the South Bronx. It was quite a torrid Sunday morning in July.

Not a good morning for garbage, I dare say.

No. I was seated half-naked on a curbstone picking through the bottle glass for diamonds and sharpening my popsicle stick into a defensive weapon, when a funeral procession came by—a line of stretch-limos with Connecticut license plates. One of them pulled over to the curb, the rear window went down, and a lady, a lovely lady in a black veil, asked me if I could give them directions to Woodlawn.

She was lost.

Yes, and did I think I could show her the way out of the South Bronx—and to Woodlawn Cemetery.

And could you?

I had given it a great deal of thought. She invited me to get into the back seat with her and give directions to the chauffeur.

What fun.

I liked riding in that limousine. I didn’t want to leave.

Of course you didn’t.

It had air-conditioning. And a rather distinctive plum-plush interior. She let me out at the southeast corner of Jerome Avenue and West Gun Hill Road. In front of the Santa Maria bodega.

Such a sense of direction.

She thanked me for getting her there so quickly. She gave me an orange. And the Sports section to her Sunday New York Times.

For a very deserving little boy. You’ve grown since then.

“When I was a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

1 Corinthians 13. Ol’ Saul certainly knew his frijoles.

I believe that was Paul. The apostle. He experienced a conversion.

He did. Saul to Paul. Presto change-o.

His frijoles. Very good. Do you mind if I use that?

Be my guest.

To your lovely lost lady. Wherever she is.

To all my lost ladies.

Of course. Does that include me? We really must take a raincheck for dinner. I could always use an extra man.

I’d like that. If I ever get out of here.

Charles Leipart 

Charles Leipart was a finalist for the 2017 Tennessee Williams Fiction Prize for What Wolfman Knew, Tennessee Williams/New Orleans Literary Festival; What Wolfman Knew is published in the September 2017 issue of the Jabberwock Review; Tea with the Tin Man, a flash fiction, is published in the quarterly issue 82 of Burningword Literary Journal, July 2017. Frank & Mia & Me, a flash fiction, is published in issue 7 of Panoply Literary Zine. Charles is a graduate of Northwestern University, a former fellow of the Edward Albee Foundation and a member of the Dramatists Guild. He lives and writes in New York City.