Relief Valve
It’s February and the power company is working on our building’s main heating line. We sit in our living room with big sweaters and pants and socks and sip tea, watching our breaths merge with the steam until we can’t tell which is which. Maybe it doesn’t matter—we’re all burning inside, anyways, while oxygen slowly combusts in our lungs. Sometimes I hear it crackle if the room is silent, but that’s only at 2am, when the metro stops running and the highway quiets. When all the people get to wherever they’re going. To wherever home is. I think people are always trying to get home however they can, the businessmen on the train and the junkies in the street, we’re all the same. We all take whatever bus comes first.
We live on the top floor of an 80-year-old apartment building. I didn’t know this before, but in old apartments, when they do work on the central heating, air pressure builds up at the tops of the pipes. They have to let it out with a tiny key that they twist into the gut of our radiator until water spurts like they hit an artery. I hover in the hallway while they clean up the mess and wonder whether I should ask them if they want something to drink. I’m not quick enough—they nod and head out, and then we have heat again. At least for a while. I’ve been finding comfort in things like these since you left: awkward interactions with handymen, not having heat, having heat again. Sometimes I’ll even smoke with the window wide open—but that’s nothing new, you’d say.
We turn the heat all the way up and finish our tea and sweat through our sweaters. The radiator burns if you touch it with the fleshy part of your palm, like I did to see if it was on. To check that they hadn’t only pretended to fix something that couldn’t be fixed. These aren’t metaphors—I think life just has a funny way of sticking the same thing under your nose over and over again, as if to say “look, this is what I meant.” I keep telling life “I understood you the first time,” but it’s no use. Life is busy going home and I’m getting older and you’re still dead. It’s too hot in our apartment. But listen: outside, it’s starting to snow.
Dara Goodale
Dara Goodale (they/them) is a Romanian-American queer multigenre writer and university student living in Lausanne, Switzerland. Their work has appeared or is forthcoming in Hayden’s Ferry Review, the American Poetry Journal, ANMLY, Cleaver Magazine, Thimble Literary Magazine, Sky Island Journal, and more. Dara is a Pushcart nominee and was a finalist for the Gasher Press 2025 Bennett Nieberg Transpoetic Broadside Prize. You can find them on Instagram @daragoodale and online at daragoodale.com
