I’m through measuring
my life by pounds
and inches. I come
to myself humbled,
asking forgiveness
but I will not listen.
I pour the last sorrow
down the drain.
It is the new year,
my glass is empty,
the half-full moon
urges me to celebrate.
Today I move
without rising
to my feet.
I think without
being conscious
of thought,
and act through
the inaction
of my soul.
The world is
a series of
complications,
focused on
now, past,
and future
none of which
is relevant.
I plan my day
by planning nothing.
My thoughts are only
of your eyes when
you said you loved me
and I believed you.
I can trace the outline
of your iris in my mind,
piercing blue like static
electricity. As you scuff
your feet across shag
carpet and touch
something metal,
the shock dulling
nerve endings long
enough to forget
how cold the surface
is underneath.
I don’t remember how I felt
holding your naked body
against mine, our lips pressed
together, then silent mouthing
words lost in that moment.
We stayed there not speaking
our pulses slowing, regulated
by the silence, and it’s a shame
silence had to come then
when I had a head full of ideas.
It was just easier to lay there
solemn as a London guard
at post before change.
Looking down
into the clear blue
depths of your eyes
beneath my outstretched arms
toes gripping the edge hard
trying not to lose balance
in the wind
blowing my hair back
like I’m James Dean
and you’re frozen in place
the last second
before a movie kiss
your eyes solid
clear
clear blue
if I fall, will you catch me?
if words were bullets
my poetry would be a gun
pointed at the head of change
we all want
we all want
we all want
to
rid ourselves of red lights
dead dog days walking
down unairconditioned streets
of degradation
& explanations
& contradictions
& salutations
we all want
we all want
we all want
to
condition for the moment
and ready ourselves
for the changes
when we’re never ready
set
GO!
