I found myself at deaths door.  Looking up at the reflection of the stars that mirrored an image of what I once thought was my life. It seemed that violence followed me, or was it that I have been chasing it all along. Maybe the fact is that I enjoyed its company. It was my way of escape into the dark realms of the other side of me. But I was trapped and I wanted to get out. How is it that I fought with everything inside of me but nothing was good enough? I became helpless, hopeless, and distraught.

I was on a path of destruction and damage consumed me. Every part of me. And nobody was here to save me. I laid at the bottom of the river with eyes wide open watching the world pass me by. Surrounded by unfamiliar faces in unfamiliar places.

A part of me could still smile, though this was extremely faint. Is this smile a reminder of life that still lives within me, or is this insanity?

I cried out for help, and no one came, no one heard, and no one could see. Everyone around me lacked the capacity to relate to my situation.  Or, maybe no one gave a damn.

I laid there completely lifeless. Tears filled the air bubbles that offered hope, a second chance, a comforter, a hand. One to reach out into the water and grab me. That’s all I wanted. One hand.

Paralyzed with fear and bound to the part of me that I, myself could not understand.

I needed pulled out!

The water from the river quickly consumed the spaces in my lungs reserved for air. All my sorrows, pains, and hurt left me as I slowly and dreadfully suffocated. It was at that moment that I felt free. I no longer suffered from the infirmary.

I laid there eyes wide open at the bottom of the river.

Latorra Killebrew

 

Latorra Killebrew is a new and aspiring writer. She enjoys composing free verse narrative poems along with free verse shorter poems.

 

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