Cadaver
I dreamt last night that Mothra died. Three pebbles and a few rented orphans attended her wake, a modest affair. I was working. I was lurking inside a bouquet of Forget-Me-Not’s. I was fucking around inside the last coyote’s lair and I still needed a hair-cut, a blue noose, a way to stop choosing my adventures. No one picked up Mothra’s body from the good morgue. No one cared. And I was scared, so I answered the telephone. The man from the morgue said: Everyone is dead here, Henry Sugar. Your mother’s wings are getting in the way of my salad. Would you like to play Marry-Fuck-Kill? Silly me, as if I am not still beholden to how poor we were, the burnt toast, the loaves of old ghost stories. I dreamt that I scared myself awake, on the way to the death chamber, the womb reclaiming. At the morgue, Mothra smiles at me like an old flying saucer and I book us two tickets to Tokyo. We wander around the Marunouchi, and she is reminded of San Francisco. She asks: Was I a wonderful mother? and I hate that every question has an answer. Lying is a strangled yodel and Mother Mothra is easier now that she is dead. It’s a simple thing to stay silent and so I quit my mouth like an overdose and went mild. She drinks sake. We eat o-nigiri and remember Ghirardelli Square. I wish my blood could turn our quiet love to technicolor. I show her the shop where my husband and I bought the painting of the tree, the color of sour limes. She asks me if I cried when she died. I don’t remember. I do not say that I forgive her, as my tongue is only as thick as rose-beds. I touch her ashy wing and little parts of her fall into me, a telescope or hesitant quicksand. I say: I am happy, now. On the third morning, I miss my husband and take a flight home. As the jet rises over the city, I look out the window. Mothra is still on that park bench, staring with eyes that will never close, over the vast bay. I let go.
Jason Davidson
Jason Davidson is a poet, fiction writer, playwright and performer. He’s written and directed over 200 works of experimental theatre and his one-act plays have been widely published. His poetry has appeared recently or is forthcoming in Hobart, SoFloPoJo, Heavy Feather Review, HAD, Luna Luna and other journals. Jason lives on California’s Central Coast with his husband. Find him on Instagram at @jasonwriteswords or visit his site at jasonwriteswords.com.
